Tuesday, February 26, 2013

First Day Nerves


There was a rumour going around that I'd been looking forward to this day. After three years and six days of twin-wrangling, I felt I deserved a couple of days a week to myself. I'd had the day on the calendar for months, and have been planning a whole lot of life to coincide nicely with it and the weeks to follow.

We've had a month of milestones and major life happenings for the small people in this house. First days, birthdays, and now this. I expected to feel a pang. I didn't anticipate the kick-to-the-stomach smack of emotion that I got as I drove away. They were excited, kissed me goodbye happily, didn't look back. I edged away feeling unexpectedly bewildered. My babies.

And I returned home, looked about vacantly and was suddenly overcome with exhaustion. A bone-tired exhalation and collapse.

So busy are we clearing the path and smoothing things over for the big stuff in their lives, we forget that they're the big stuff in our lives too.

My babies.

(They had a wonderful day, were dancing in a circle at pick-up time, and we had a hard time convincing them to come home. Tonight I feel OK again. And now I'm going to sleep.)

18 comments:

  1. They're so adorable and have that "seriously Mum, we have this whole preschool thing in the bag" kinda look. Glad it went well. The best thing is that they have each other. Enjoy your 'free' days. Mel x

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  2. They are too adorable...standing there holding hands!
    And how lovely that they will always have each other for every first day!
    Glad that they had a wonderful day.
    And I am sure you will come to embrace your solo time...I know I do!

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  3. Goosebumps Greer. I felt it in my stomach before I got to the second paragraph. We so need some time to ourselves but then... our babies. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.... xxx

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  4. Oh my gosh. Your girls are very cute. I know how you feel, I keep putting off starting Isaac at preschool. But I know he’d love it and some days we all need a break from each other . Defiantly after Easter. Probably.
    Katexx

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  5. Beautifully written it's such a hard feeling to capture but you've gotten it perfectly. It does get easier.

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  6. Oh Greer! They are the cutest little jellybeans I ever did lay eyes on! So glad they enjoyed their first day! It's always a good sign when there's tears going home then arriving :) Enjoy your freedom...

    Sophie xo

    P.S They will ALL always be your babies...

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  7. Beautiful little girls...i know the walk away is tough but trust me you will begin to cherish that time and be a happier Mum because of it. They need their space to grow and spread their wings too and they will always come home to be your babies...so glad their first day was a happy one though x

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  8. What sweet little babes you have! Well done for getting through another "first".
    xx

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  9. That is the cutest pic! Glad to hear their 1st day was a success. It's always harder for us than them isn't it. Enjoy your 'me-time'... x

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  10. Adorable girls you have there, and I think previous commenters are right--they've obviously got this pre-school thing down! As much as I hate the days when my little guy has trouble at drop-off in the mornings, sometimes I think the days he marches right in without looking back or waving goodbye are almost as bad. These babies know how to pull at their mamas hearts.

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  11. Beautiful first day picture. I'm so glad they are happy. Enjoy the time, thanks for the reminder that their big things are our big things, I needed that today.

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  12. They are lovely! It's so bitter sweet isn't it? I'm sure you'll settle into your babe-free days before too long..

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  13. they are just too cute. beautiful post, i almost had tears! x

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  14. oh i know how you feel and that last line made me catch my breath...our babies are the biggest things and sometimes life makes us forget the obvious! i love the picture and am adoring your blog and i am follower 250! it kind of is a big thing to be number 250! thank you so much for stopping by the flight platform and saying hi, the best thing is it let me find you. now going to do some catching up on who you are xxxxxx

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  15. GULP!! Nearly had me in tears, how come it whizzes by just so darn fast? x

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  16. oh greer - silence.. it's a strange old sound, isn't it!! I could feel your heavy heart in this post, but I suspect given a little time, it will be a happy and full one - when you learn to enjoy the silence ;) x

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  17. I am already preparing for (or should that be worrying about) my nerves when my baby starts school in September. They absolutely are the big stuff in our lives. Well said.

    Gillian x

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