"The Third Nearly Killed Me"

One of the things I miss most about having my mum around is being able to ask her about when she was at the stage of her life that I'm at now - being a mother to small children. Gosh, how I'd love to sit her down now and have her answer a few questions. Like, were we (my siblings and I) ever this much of a handful? Were we this funny and delightful?  Did we test every single boundary and push every single button?

Last night, I stumbled across a little card in a box of keepsakes. It was sent to my parents when I was born. It was probably one of only a handful - poor, deprived third children don't get as much attention as the first ones, don't I know!!!

Oh, how it made me laugh, that one small line: "Trust you are not too frazzled and have help - the third nearly killed me." Reassuring words from one mum to another. Proof that life and mothering was just as...challenging back in the mid-'70s as it is today.

Wishing you all a lovely weekend.

Photo Stuff

That there is a photo of me and my three taken late last year by my good friend Briony (of Catch Photography in Brisbane). Photos of me are thin on the ground, photos of me with my girls scarcer still. I guess that's the lot of the one who holds the camera in the family. I was recently asked to provide a profile photo of myself for a PR thingo. I wasn't able to because I just don't have any. I don't love being photographed, I admit. And I've put photos of myself on this blog, oh, about three times now. Recently I was interviewed on film for a Cancer Council promo. That took me so far out of my comfort zone, I can't even tell you. And when I pop it here on the blog - and I will soon, I promise - I will hardly be able to stand it. Time for someone to get over herself (in all her approaching-middle-age glory!)

Anyway, in a similar but different vein, I thought I'd share some of my favourite photography blogs, or blogs I love especially for the photos. 

An absolute favourite is Flannery O'Kafka. Glasgow-based Andrea has lots of kids who are conveniently very photogenic. That Hugo! She shoots portraits and kids fashion editorials and just lots of beautiful images. Moody and often dark and always beautiful.

Lamb Loves Fox is a 365 project with beautiful little Lamb as the main subject (her just-born baby brother Fox will no doubt be joining in soon). I don't know what it is about these photos but I just love them to bits. Gorgeous kid, gorgeous light, stunning intentional composition. Inspiring stuff.

Tahnee of Milk Please Mum has been seriously practising her photography. Her blog is living proof of the amount of photos she takes and the quality of them. She has launched her own business - how exciting! I found this shoot she did of the lovely folk at Lemon Rhodes quite inspiring. The way she captures the stuff going on around the subject reminds me of another amazing photographer.

And finally, Malt Memories is brand new to me, but my goodness. Would you look at this? And these? They're like stills from an arthouse film. I can't wait to see more.

Catching Up

Hello.

I feel like I've been a little absent in the past few weeks (and they have been some crazy weeks). I've been filling space here with food and hats and portraits of my children, but in the background there's been a whirly-gig of wild activity which leaves little time for much more. My ideas and thoughts and inspiration levels are near to overflowing, but I've lacked the space to turn them into anything.

But soon, but soon. Nearly a year's worth of plotting and planning is about to fall into place. This week marks 11 years in my job, which means it's been a year since I've been eligible for long-service leave. Some people would plan an extended break to allow more family time. I'm sure you won't think me crazy (do you?) to know I've timed my extended break to coincide with one child starting school and the other two preschool. I've spent almost every day of the past three years with the darling little creatures. Because I work from home, even when I'm working, I'm with them. If they're not knocking the door down for a cuddle or to give me a drawing or to ask for a bandaid, they're right outside the office where I can hear and feel their every move. The ways in which the "work from home" dream didn't quite meet my expectations are the stuff of another blog post. Suffice to say, when my part-time job goes into a two-month hiatus in a few weeks, it will be all about me. Me, me, me!

Thank you for your sweet inquiries about my big girl's first week of school. It has all gone wonderfully so far. Her energy and excitement after day one was incredible, and though the tiredness is beginning to show, it's clear she's loving every bit of it. And she seems to have grown up so much in the space of a few days. I'm so proud.

And I've been having such lovely days with my babies, just us three. It's such a different dynamic when big sister is out of the picture. They miss her like crazy, and run to grab her when she gets home, but in the meantime they play beautifully, dare I say quietly, and things seem to be in a happy rhythm for now.

In other news, I'm currently doing Stephanie Levy's Creative Courage e-course. Have you heard of it? I had wanted to sign up for some sort of online course to do during my long-service leave (remember, me, me, me!) and while this one fell a little early (I'm struggling to find the time to complete the exercises at the moment), when I saw the starting date was my birthday, I took it as a sign. Many years ago I did The Artist's Way with a group of girlfriends, and it was such a great experience to allow ourselves the time and space to just be creative. I remember doing a visualisation exercise where I imagined myself one day living in a house in the country with a gaggle of beautiful babes, writing every day. If you squint your eyes a bit to make the vision blurry, it sort of came true.

Well, that's a lot of information for a quiet Wednesday evening. I'm off to knit a hat, plan a double birthday bash, pack a lunch and contemplate just how much knitting, writing, photographing, recipe-inventing and blessed silent nothingness I can fit into the coming months.

20 Years

Last weekend, I travelled back to my home town for my 20-year high school reunion. Let's hear that again - my 20-year high school reunion.

It's ludicrous.

It was only a few years ago that I finished that final exam, flounced my way through the graduation ball, then headed off with my high marks and high hopes to university.

It was only a few years ago that I left university - with a creative arts degree instead of the law degree I'd set out for - and fumbled through a few useless auditions while polishing my waitressing skills in the big smoke.

It was only a few years since I filled a backpack and headed north, landing on an island in the bluest of seas, to further enhance those waitressing talents and fill my bank account with travelling cash.

A few years, only a few, since, weeping and jittery, I farewelled my mum and sisters at Sydney airport and boarded a plane for Europe where I would spend the next two years working and travelling, working and travelling, and wondering what to do with my life.

Only a few years since the awful phone call from the other side of the world telling me my brother had died.

A few years since returning home, a little lost, to discover two years in Europe might sound good over a few beers at the pub, but didn't look all that impressive on a CV.

It was only a couple of years ago, I'm sure it was, that I was stumbling around doing film courses, journalism courses, writing plays, producing plays, trying to tell stories that people wanted to hear. And still waitressing.

A couple of years ago living alone in tiny inner-city apartments, scrounging to pay rent, making day-before-pay-day decisions between 'loaf of bread' and 'packet of ciggies'.

A couple of years since falling into a great job, one that I loved, and paid well, and let me have sick days and holidays and finally release the word nerd that had been trying to get out.

Only a couple of years - surely only a couple - since being introduced to a handsome Greek bloke at work one morning. Only a couple of years since we got it together to go out, start a relationship, move in together, go overseas together.

A couple of years since he made some poetic association between lighthouses and right directions when he proposed to me at dusk looking over the water at Santorini. 

And I said yes.

And I'm sure it was just the other day that my mother walked me down the aisle of a Greek church in Sydney, stepping on the bay leaves that remained from the Easter just past, and a crown was placed on my head, joined with a ribbon to the one on his head, and we circled three times behind the priest.

Only just last year, I'm sure, that we got married, mortgaged and pregnant, all in the space of a few months.

And only last year, I know it was, that our Lola arrived to make us a family, a few months ago, it couldn't be more, that we went from one to three kids in a single leap, just last week that we followed our hearts out of the city to this tiny village in the hills.

It's just not possible that 20 years have passed since that first, enormous leap into the world.