Tuesday, March 12, 2013

On Being the Aunty





Approximately 100% of my time is taken up with being a mum - doing mum stuff and thinking about mum stuff and frantically grabbing at moments of ‘me’ so that I can try to be a slightly less shouty and frazzled mum when I’m doing and thinking about the mum stuff.

But before I was a mum, I was something entirely different - something entirely lovely. Before I was a mum, I was an aunty.

I was still a teenager when I became an aunty the first time. My brother and his girlfriend became parents to an adorable baby girl who, in the rare moments I spent time with her, I just wanted to dress up like a doll and play mummies with. That little girl was only as old as my Lola is now when she lost both her parents. It’s a long and complicated and terribly sad tale that one day I may share, or perhaps not. But for all of its sadness, it has a happy enough ending because, despite the odds, that tiny girl has grown into a beautiful and smart young woman who turns 21 tomorrow. There were times when I wasn’t sure if she, or any of us, would make it. And I couldn’t be prouder of where she’s come from and who she’s become.

I didn’t spend a huge amount of time with her as she was growing up, largely due to distance and circumstance, so when my big sister had her first baby, another beautiful girl, many years later, it was like I became an aunty for the first time all over again. I was in the room when this baby was born, and it was a life-changing moment for me, one of the most profound things I had experienced to date - watching on as my sister’s writhings and gaspings transformed into this perfect little creature.

I was besotted by her. I couldn’t get enough. I looked for excuses to pop over for a visit. I grabbed at babysitting opportunities. I showed photos of her to people at work, for godsakes! It was in her that my desire to be a mum was born.

That little girl is now on the cusp of her teenage years. Right now she’s in Italy competing with the Australian national children’s ski squad. She’s gonna be a champion, that one.

A couple of weeks ago I was tidying up, trying to sort through and rearrange some of the toys and play stuff that clogs our house. As I folded the dolls’ blankets and clothes, most of them hand-me-downs from my almost-teenage niece, I felt a bit wistful. It won’t be too long before my own girls will have outgrown all of this stuff. The blink of an eye.

I’m not as good at being an aunty since I became a mum but I’m glad I got the opportunity before my own kids came and snaffled that little 100% of me. Five nephews have followed those two girls, gorgeous and clever boys all of them. But the girls have a special place in my heart. They both made me an aunty for the first time.

(Happy 21st birthday, Ahnika. It's a really big deal.)

17 comments:

  1. Lovely post Greer! My sisters are amazing Aunts to my 3. They get spoilt rotten. xo

    ReplyDelete
  2. What a lovely post- I've got 3 babies who have 100% of me too, but I have 14 nieces and nephews and I'm proud godmother to 4 of them. Each time we've received the phone call to say a baby has been born we're in that lovely glow that only new life in the family can bring. And this week we found out we have a new niece/ nephew due in September!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Beautiful Post Greer (even though it makes me sad). I only became an Aunty after being a 100% Mum so can imagine how nice that would have been to have had that time to enjoy your nieces before your own came along. My 2 nephews will be visiting us this weekend from Wollongong and I can't wait to see them. x

    ReplyDelete
  4. A beautiful, thoughtful post. I'm neither a mum nor a real aunty, but that doesn't seem to matter to my little brood of "nieces & nephews", (my dearest friends' children) and my three gorgeous goddaughters who call me Aunty and whom I love and treasure with all my heart. You're so right: being an aunty is very special.
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  5. What a beautiful and heartbreaking post at the same time. I never got to be an aunty before being a mum, but I think I loved my nephews and nieces even more when they arrived because I knew how quickly the time flew by. I am just waiting on my sister to have a baby, but she will when she meets the right person. Enjoy your nieces and nephews, they sound wonderful!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Beautiful post. I too was an aunt first and it was so special.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Beautiful post. I too was an aunt first and it was so special.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I was a mum at the same time I became an aunty, but as there's a 15 year gap between my sister and I there may just be time to enjoy her first born specialness. Meanwhile, I'm enjoying just being 'mum'!

    ReplyDelete
  9. oh you made me a little bit teary eyed! lovely post xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  10. Happy Birthday to you niece! I have never really had the chance to be only-Aunty, my first niece was born just before my Dad got ill with Cancer, so the only time I have been child-free, I was too worried about Dad, and spending time with him to really do the Aunty thing. And now that I have my own, its much harder to be A special Aunty!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I think it might be rather lovely to be an Aunty. This post certainly makes me feel that way :)

    Theoretically I am an aunty - my husband's brother and his wife have three girls - but we barely know them, in fact I can count on the fingers of my hands the times I've met them in their 20 odd years. Geography is the primary reason but the brothers are far from close. And my sister is childless. Still being a mum has been rather lovely too :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. This post brought a tear to my eye. I'm sure you are a wonderful aunty!

    ReplyDelete
  13. oH how beautiful... oh you darling...you will be perfect xx

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh, such heartbreak, I can't imagine. So lovely to have been an Aunty twice though and have experienced such a love like that. It does go so quickly.

    I became an Aunty to my brothers son when I was a teenager. Recently he was standing in my sisters kitchen, looking more like a man than a 15 year old boy, and I felt compelled to be a daggy aunt and point out to him that I am now twice his age. And he is now the same age I was when he was born. Yep, I know how to make a teenage boy blush, and he knows how to make me feel old. xx

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh Greer...such a moving post. I think I remember you referring to the death of your brother here before. The loss of a sibling is something I cannot comprehend, but to think he left a daughter behind...there are no words, really. You must be very proud of her, and your other niece and all your nephews (five!).

    I became an aunty when my eldest was a baby. I have two sisters and between us all we produced two kids each in the space of three years (four girls, two boys) and so they are all very close in age. I am often shocked by the strength of love I feel for my nieces and nephew. I just wish that I could see them more than two or three times a year.

    Gillian xx

    ReplyDelete
  16. I felt when I became aunt the first time, as a teenage girl, that it is really a task. It felt like a responsabilty to me. I had feelings like "will I make it?", "will I be good enough". Oh that's funny, right?

    Moving story of your auntyness!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Wow Greer, great post. I envy the role of Aunt and hope one day I get to play it.

    ReplyDelete

I love comments. Thanks for yours!

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...